AMHL Wednesday: Over-sized Mites

March 25, 2009
Rink Two
Concord, MA

“Jimmy and his over-sized Mites,” referee Matt says to the Sharks, as Carcharodon carcharias and their reluctant coach are having more fun than a bunch of eight-year olds So while the Teal Deal manhandles the Sabres and is well on its way to earning its tenth victory, meet the top twelve reasons for the Sharks’ success.

Kate “Two Cups” Fallon: Winner of the last two Koffey Cup titles, Fallon’s 2.25 (and falling) GAA leads the AMHL. The nimble netminder attributes some of this success to downing two cups of coffee before each game.

Mike “Mr. Coffey” DeLeo: The ultimate high-energy defenseman, who usually finishes his first cup of Dunkin’ Donuts’ finest at the rink, skates with such swiftness and precision that he may remind you of that slick skater who won a few Cups in Edmonton.

Kevin “Lunchpail” Lyons: Teamed with DeLeo on defense, Kevin has also played forward. Whatever the position, he does his job without complaint. And Lyons is improving every week because the secret of his success is simplicity: Poke check pucks across his own blue line and keep pucks in the offensive zone.

Mike “Posturepedic” Seeley: Mike gets a good night’s sleep, does yoga, and is the most limber of all the Sharks. The Pride of Port Huron is also the first one on the ice and last one off. He busts his well-rested hump game in and game out. And this season, the buoyant blueliner has not only stretched his game to both ends of the ice but has also decreased his penalty minutes.

Gil “Bear” Cote: A Bruin fan and grizzled defenseman, Gilbert is a fierce competitor. He plays hurt and opponents have (dare I say it) a bear of time circumnavigating him. He makes crisp passes and will rush the puck when open ice beckons him.

“Grinder Greg” Longtine: The longtime AMHLer is the consummate character guy. His due diligence along the boards creates scoring opportunities for his teammates, and his crease-savvy positioning and persistence makes him king of the garbage goals.

Stephen “Stinky” Antonelli: His work ethic in what he calls the non-Euclidian corners is matched only by his affection for the Father of Geometry, witty one-liners, and the stench streaming from his hockey sweater.

Brian “Red Baron” Barringer. Just when opponents have him in your sights, this sneaky sniper scores again. Leading the Sharks in goals (12) and assists (13), the soft-spoken Barringer does most of his talking on the scoresheet.

Bob “the Wizard” Blizard: The AARP cardholder wields two forms of magic: Raw power and wisdom enable Bob to win one-on-one clashes with the dark forces (a.k.a Habs, Sabres, and Rangers).

Jim “the Horse” Morgan. Like the Morgan horse, which is known for its versatility, Jimmy will play forward or defense. According to the American Morgan Horse Association, “the intelligence, willingness, zest for life, and good sense of the Morgan is blended with soundness of limb, athleticism, and stamina.” Just like Jimmy.

Paul “Cadillac” Anastas. This elite and classy player (and I’m not just saying that because he drives me to work) is fast on his feet, stickhandles with authority, and makes good decisions. Anastas, the MC of AMHL Friday pickup hockey, is a luxury without the tax.

Jay “Ciao bella” Antonangeli: A member of the all-Italian team, Signora Antonangeli (pictured above) is flirting with the AMHL hockey gods. Three more goals and he’ll join the 100-goal club.

But make no mistake about this light-hearted shiver of Sharks: They know they must not only improve but also balance frivolity and ferocity if the team is to hold high the Koffey Cup.

AMHL Thursday: Saddle Up

Image courtesy of Appaloosa at Flickr.com

November 20, 2008
Valley Sports, Rink Two
Concord, MA

“Saddle up your horses. We got a trail to blaze…”
-“The Great Adventure,” Steven Curtis Chapman

The Capitals’ locker room smells like a stable. Stench rarely bothers hockey players, but this morning’s stink is so rancorous that defenseman Erik “Sunday Silence” Domingo is taken aback.

Are the 2–9–0–0 Avalanche, this morning’s opponent, playing a prank on the 9–1–0–1 Caps?

Domingo checks the shower floor for road apples but finds nothing that needs to be removed from the premises. The Caps can overcome the toxic tendrils of unknown source, but will the team—without four key players—falter against the Avalanche?

Netminder Kenny “Northern Dancer” Tarr, Forward “Big Ben” Budds, Rob “Funny Cide” Mirak, and Doug “The Black Stallion” Wight, are all out to pasture—at least this morning.

And they’re off, the Capitals trotting left to right across your imaginary racetrack/rink...

...The Avalanche lead 2–1 on goals by Mike “Giacomo” Gardner and Tim “Tim Tam” Turner, but the Capitals pull even when Tom “Champion” Barrett and Tom “Trigger” Hargrave execute a perfect give-‘n’-go, Barrett roofing a shot over Mitch “Ponyboy” Weiss.

Still in the first period, the Capitals score three more goals before Steve “Quick Draw McGraw” Cook, snaps a wrister past Stephanie, “Rags to Riches” Spunt, who was claimed off waiver wires to replace Kenny Tarr.

After one period, it’s 5–3 Capitals.

“It looks like the Bruins last night,” says Hargrave, referencing the hometown team’s first period against the visiting Buffalo Sabres.

Whoa, Nellie. The Avalanche, even without scoring stud Paul “Seldom Seen” Nelson counter with two goals, including one that ricochets off a loose saddle and then drops behind Spunt.

But Mike “Real Quiet” Hansen lopes past an Av defenseman and then beats Weiss like a dusty saddle blanket. No one-trick pony, Hansen scores again and then watches Brent “Sea Biscuit” Delehey beat Weiss high to the blocker side.

After two periods, the Caps lead, 7–4.

“What are you doing?” Spunt asks the Capitals’ lame bench jockey. “Coaching? Statistician…?”

Gatekeeping. And betting on the Caps.

The Avalanche will not quit. They again pull within two lengths on goals from Rich “the Pinto” Perkins and Cook.

But the Avs don’t have the…uh…horses and can’t catch the Caps. 8–6 is your final, equine enthusiasts.

With one game left in the regular season, the Capitals have blazed a trail to first place and—in the Great Adventure known as the AMHL Play-offs—are the odds-on favorite to win the Koffey Cup.