Canadian Espionage: The Sting

The red-winged blackbird that threatened to attack, the disconnected Internet session at the safe house, and the suspicious-looking “family of four” that trailed my accomplice and I: all have proven to be ineffective at stopping me from gathering valuable information about PEI.

Not even the feds’ sting operation could stop us from reaching Grand Manan. So, I present you with the following random research from our first leg of the mission.

Habs fans have invaded the island. From the man form Magdalen Islands to the kid scooping ice cream at Cows, insurgents have joined forces with locals whose allegiances lie with the bleu, blanc, et rouge. Details may be forthcoming once I’m back in the Hub of Hockey.

Scanning the phone book, the numbers below represent the listings for each surname in Montague:

-MacDonald: 67
-Midowski: 2
-Murphy: 25

I haven’t checked the listings for Souris, but that community’s Midgets are up-and-comers on the youth hockey scene. At least that’s the word on the street.

Gotta run.

J

Read the notes from the rest of the mission here.

Muscial Montage

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I’ve missed the Dunkin’ Donuts Musical Montage—the between-period, set-to-music Bruins’ highlight reel—tonight but won’t miss the final frame, when I expect the Bs to sustain or increase their 2–1 lead over the Leafs in Toronto.

While I wait for the third period to commence, I present a soundtrack for the last few days. Rewind to Thursday morning: As my Avalanche teammates prepared for the third period against the Capitals, my defensive partner pounded the metal support column, painted white, to his right.

“Bodies on the floor. Bodies on the floor,” Bill Chioffi chanted in his best monster truck rally voice, repeating the lines from some heavy metal song (he thinks it’s Metallica, but I can't verify that. Anyone?) as he pounded out the beat.

I don’t know if Chioffi’s charades pumped up Andy “Zach” Zacharakis, but the goggled warrior scored a late goal to give us a 5–4 victory. This pleased our goalie, Kenny “KISS Fan” Tarr because if the game had gone into OT and the Panthers had scored, Kenny’s GAA would have taken a hit.

Kenny and his wife sat in Section L at Conte Forum at Boston College on Friday night. My wife and I sat a few rows back. The Eagles struggled against the underdog UMass Lowell River Hawks, but BC’s pep band tried to jack up the home team and its fans with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” and the Sport Chant Remix in Zombie Nation’s “Kernkraft 400”. Neither the band nor the person who selects music for the PA system chose KISS, but Kenny was content with AC/DC.

And I was happy to tap my toes to a tune by Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine as Baldwin the Eagle (or was it Baldwin Jr. ?) skated around the rink, chucking sponge pucks into the crowds of kids gathered behind the Plexiglas. The youngsters were ultimately disappointed because the Eagles succumbed to the River Hawks, 1–3.

Saturday morning, I opened the CD my wife had bought for me, Anne Murray Duets: Friends & Legends. I read the inserted booklet containing the stories behind the songs—from “Danny’s Song” to “Si Jamais Je Te Revois” (If I Ever See You Again), sung with the likes of Martina McBride and Isabelle Boulay —all the while thinking about Glen Murray, who like Anne, is from Nova Scotia. What’s his favorite song by Anne Murray? “Daydream Believer” or “Snowbird”?

Muzz scored a goal against the Leafs, but the Bs bungle a 2–1 lead in third and then lose in OT. My quick-thinking wife changes the channel before the last Bruin exits the ice. We watch the last half of Miracle, and I enjoy the goose pimples I get when Eruzione scores his goal and then does his dance. After the victory over Finland and then the gold medal ceremony, I read the where-are-they-now updates flashing on the tube as Aerosmith’s “Dream On” stokes my core.

AMHL Championship Week: On the Juice, Part One

Pour a glass of OJ and then enjoy your beverage with the penultimate story from 2007.

December 20, 2007

Adam “Donut Meister Meister Donut” Berger watches me pour orange juice, an AMHL post-game staple (as are the donuts), from the gallon jug into a flimsy plastic cup. I spill the sticky stuff on the counter, and it drips onto the floor. Thursday’s donut meister, who’s also responsible for clean-up, shakes his head.

Berger has a mess on his hands.

And it’s not just the pool of pulp that I’ve presented him. Innuendo about another juice, the kind that has made AMHLers wonder how an athlete like Adam enhances his performance.

The hockey universe has noted Berger’s breakout season. He not only registered a career-high seventeen points (6G + 11A) while playing for the Tuesday Penguins and Thursday Avalanche, but he trimmed last season’s penalty minutes from twenty-two to ten. Both the Pens and Avs advanced to the AMHL Finals, too.

To address his fans and foes, Berger issued a press release the week before AMHL Championship Week.

“…While there have been many questions and considerable ill-founded rumors given my recent record setting performance, I will continue to deny that I have been involved with performance enhancing drugs. The Federal Express packages that were sent to my house did not contain human growth hormones, but actually my high blood pressure medication. Further, the so called documents that supposedly linked me to the former major league strength coach, Brian McNamee, [were] actually my AARP benefits package…”

The following Tuesday morning, the fifty-something spectacle scored—a perfect pass from Steve Nicole that Berger pushed past Blues’ goalie Ken Tarr—prompting Adam’s detractors to whisper the "j" word. Then, they claimed the defenseman-turned-forward’s positioning on a face-off in the third period as further evidence of cheating.

Lined-up at right wing on a face-off in his own zone, Berger inched over the line separating him from the Blues’ left-winger. The official nodded Berger back into position—twice—before the much-maligned AMHLer complied.

Berger’s Penguins would succumb to the Blues (pictured above), 4–5, but the questions about his enhanced performance (like that mess I created in the AMHL donut room) will persist…until I post Part Two.

Week in Review: Bergie and the Bruins

Photo courtesy of Dan4th at flickr.com

“Bergie did good,” my wife says.

Sitting in our favorite spots at our favorite Dunkin’ Donuts, we’re about to read different sections of the Boston Globe.

My wife and hockey companion isn’t talking about Patrice Bergeron, though; she’s praising the performance of our new car, which we purchased last weekend and named after the Boston Bruins’ center, for its ability to handle the choppy, sloppy snow spread across New England’s roadways this Saturday morning.

We had to trade-in our venerable vehicle, which we had named for the former Bruins’ captain who now plays for the San Jose Sharks. Acquired as a previously-owned car in 2003, Joey Jeep was losing his mojo and finding his way onto the service rack far too often.

Sad to see him go after having taken us so far on so many adventures to Canada, we were nonetheless convinced it was the right thing to do. The bold blue Jeep still sports a tinge of PEI red on its wheels, but it will be up to his new owner to determine Joey’s future travel destinations.

Bergie is now our go-to guy. The 2004 Ford Escape will take us to Newfoundland in May, but his primary role is to deliver us to Dunkin’ Donuts, to work, and to the rink.


On Wednesday morning at Concord Valley Sports’ Rink One, AMHL veteran Dave Mello caressed the puck on his stick blade. I watched from behind the Plexiglas behind the Sabres’ goalie as Mello strode toward me. He skated to his left to skirt a defenseman, fending off the opponent with his right arm. Dave, a right-handed shooter, cut to his right—across the crease—but then hopped back from whence he came, fooling the goaltender. Mello backhanded the biscuit into the basket. It was the niftiest goal I can recall seeing in warm-ups. Dave couldn’t duplicate that deke in the game.


On Thursday morning, Anthony Bonfiglio—my goalie on the Capitals—was making saves left and right. He was in a groove until the third period, stopping all but one shot, until a Bruins’ defenseman nailed our nimble netminder with a shot from the point. The puck stung Fig above the knee, where there’s a gap in protection. He made the save and then battled through the pain, but the Bruins beat him with another shot with about ten minutes remaining in the game. We couldn’t put the puck past the B’s backstop, Mike "the Eagle" Chase, so our record after the 1–2 loss is now a woeful 3–7, good for last place.

As Fig was probably nursing the bruised and swollen leg that night, another Capitals’ goalie stopped a shot from a Bruins’ defenseman. Washington’s Olaf Kolzig took one for his last-place team, the shot from Zdeno Chara striking Olie the Goalie just above his knee during the waning seconds of OT. Kolzig grimaced but put himself back in the crease for the shootout session. He stopped Marco Sturm but couldn’t prevent patient Patrice Bergeron from putting one past him (or Phil Kessel from capping the Black-and-Gold’s comeback).


So here we are this Saturday. Both Bergies have had good weeks. Our new car has plenty of miles left in him. Bergie and the Bruins best beat the Blueshirts tonight, however, if they want to continue their drive to make the playoffs.