Breaking Laces: Come Get Some (Donuts)

Hockey (and Donut fans): Rob, Billy, and Seth

Friday, December 7, 2012

Donuts, donuts, they are a tasty treat/

Donuts, donuts, they are so fun to eat/
Except for the sprinkles that fall upon my feet/

"Breaking Laces is ruining you," my wife comments on the first lines of my song—inspired by the warm-up band for Sister Hazel— that have sprung from by subconscious,  my first words this Friday morning. Both groups, as well at Ken Yates, performed at the Tupelo Music Hall in Londonderry, NH last night.

After the show, all three acts hung out to talk to music (and donut) fans. Sister Hazel’s marquee marketer, "Tony the Merch Guy," said the boys don’t do donuts that often. (Cookies don’t count). But Merchie enjoys an Apple Fritter every now and again.

Breaking Laces, a fun-loving and funny Brooklyn-based trio that hooked me with their catchy and clever “Shopping for Two” and tunes from their new album, Come Get Some, responded to my inquiry about favourite donuts. "Boston Kreme," bassist and keyboard player Rob Chojnackie said.

While Chojnackie’s bandmates hadn’t yet arrived at the informal fan forum zone, Yates, a soft-spoken Canadian folk singer who performed before Breaking Laces, said, “Timbits.”

"I know Timmy Ho’s," said Chojnackie, who added that he’s not a Maple Frosted proponent. He was open to suggestions, though.

My wife mentioned her affinity for the Sour Cream (Plain), and then Chojnackie said he’d try one next time.

While drummer Seth Masarsky was probably loading equipment in the band's van, lead singer and principal lyricist Billy Hartong joined the donut (and hockey) discussion. He’s played a little puck, but donuts aren’t his thing, at least not that often. He had sworn them off (except for on Super Bowl Sundays) but copped to his all-time favourite: "Krispy Kreme, straight up." And the Strawberry Frosteds have also served as music to his mouth.

This interaction and my little ditty linger with me as I walk from home to my Friday morning writing spot, the Boston Bean House in downtown Maynard, MA. Donuts aren’t on the menu board (scones don’t count), so I order a breakfast sandwich (no cheese) and a hot chocolate. I sit at my corner table, and in between bites and sips, I ink the aforementioned lyrics.

Donuts, donuts, they are a tasty treat/

Donuts, donuts, they are so fun to eat/
Except for the sprinkles that fall upon my feet/

(And I keep going, as Breaking Laces seems to fuel my fervor.)

But I love donuts, donuts/

 

They tempt me, and they tease me/
Although they can be greasy/
I know this song is cheesy/

But I love donuts, donuts/

All kinds of donuts, donuts/

They are a tasty treat/

Donuts, donuts, they are so fun to eat/
Except for the Jelly/
So untidy and so sloppy/
(something something –anthropy)

I’m still working on it, even though this song—unlike those of Sister Hazel, Ken Yates and Breaking Laces—won’t land me a gig at the Tupelo Music Hall.

Five-holes and Donut-holes: True Stories about Professional Hockey Players and Their Favourite Donuts

There’s a hole in the title. Professional goalies aren’t the only players featured here. The title, courtesy of creative collaborator Msr. Jean-Pierre Plouffe, (a.k.a. Puckbite) is a teaser, an appetizer à la the Timbit or Munchkin, to introduce those whose skills and diligence are or were sharp enough to play professional—at any position. Regardless of their goals-against average or plus/minus rating, each of the players listed below, like those of us not destined for hockey divinity, share an affinity; dare I say weakness, for that oft-round and tasty treat: We are all rendered enervated and yield to the yeasty (or cakey, as the case may be) feast that is the donut.

For the uninitiated: The hockey-donut convergence originates from my affiliation with the best morning hockey league evah, where would-be beer-leaguers are more prone to retire to bed before midnight, awaken before dawn, and then drive to Valley Sports Arena in Concord, MA. There in the venerable arena, we partake in the conviviality—the joie de vivre of the hockey and donut dream—that the AMHL (as in 6:30 A.M Hockey League) promises. This amateur co-ed confederation of pucksters/donut connoisseurs loves hockey and the post-game staple just as much as the pros love our game and donuts.

Gerry Cheevers: A few minutes before the Bruins-Islanders game on March 3, 2012, Cheesie sat at a small table outside the Bruins Pro Shop. My wife/AMHL Photographer then went inside to purchase Unmasked, Cheevers’s autobiography, written with Marc Zappulla. Book in hand, I approached the former netminder. We chatted about his hometown, St. Catharines Ontario, the Don Cherry-Colorado Rockies connection...and then I asked him about his favourite donut. “Chocolate Glazed,” he said. “Just had one.” (A portion of the poceeds from Unmasked will go to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

Hal Gill: While the under-appreciated, in my opinion, defenseman was in Finland (during the 2004-05 NHL Lockout, Gill played for Rauman Lukko), he responded to my email query: His favorite Dunkin’ Donut franchise: “In Wilmington (MA) across from the practice rink (Ristuccia).” His favorite donut: “What else, the (Boston Kreme). It’s perfection washed down with a French Vanilla coffee.”

Aaron Ward: In 2008, at the first annual ‘Cuts for a Cause, a fundraiser for the MassGeneral Hospital for Children, I shaved Wardo’s head (true story). Afterwards, I asked him...you know... Because he lived in Carolina, the crucible of Krispy Kreme, I expected Wardo to promote his hometown favourite. “Boston Kreme,” he said. “True story.”

Adam McQuaid: In San Jose for the Bruins-Sharks game on March 22, 2012, the AMHL Photographer and I learned we were staying in the same hotel as the Bruins. As the B’s waited in the lobby for the bus to take them to the Shark Tank, my wife and I approached Mr. Mullett, a.k.a. Darth Quaider. My wife chatted about our visits to Prince Edward Island, McQuaid’s home province, and then she acquired his autograph for her co-worker. My turn. I introduced myself and the notion of morning hockey, handed McQuaid my business card, and then asked him The Question. “Krispy Kreme,” he said. I told him I’m not a big fan of that brand because the donuts are too perfect. No character. Upon further reflection, I accept them as part of the donut family, although their lack of flair could be considered akin to a mullet-less McQuaid.

Terry O’Reilly: At the Honda Center, before the Bruins would beat the Ducks, Taz walked along the mezzanine. I introduced myself and my purpose. Favourite donut? He paused to ponder The Question, so I prompted him with another: Perhaps something from the Land of Dunkin’? (By the way, I didn’t see one DD shop in California.) “Maple Frosted,” he said. I didn’t have a business card handy, so I told him if he Googled donut and hockey, he’d find me. He repeated my name, as if to consider searching for this true story.

Oldies But Goodies: Former Bruins Rock On

Songs from the 1960s and '70s—when today’s oldest NHLers were born—are ripe for airplay on oldies stations. Tunes from the '80s and early '90s—when today’s oldest players were drafted—are maturing into fashionable fruit for these same stations.

So, in the spirit of Steve “Fly Like an Eagle’” Miller and Dave “Please Come to Boston” Loggins, I present these memorable former Bruins.

Mark Recchi
2009-2011

The kid from Kamloops (BC) was born when “Hey Jude” hit the charts and was drafted when Steve Winwood’s “Roll With It” was up for awards. Recchi (skating on a line with his boyhood idle Bryan “Hot Diggity” Trottier) won the ultimate hockey award with Pittsburgh in 1991; in 2006, with Carolina, Recchi (and fellow oldie Glen Wesley, also born in 1968) again hoisted the hardware high above his head.

In 2009, with the dismal Tampa Bay Lightning, Recchi owned the dubious distinction of a team-worst plus/minus (-15). When the B’s acquired him at the trade deadline, I was concerned that he would be a detriment to team defense.

Ha. Two years later and Recchi, who says he prefers rock ‘n’ roll or country over Marc Savard’s Top 40, probably was amused when, before the Stanley Cup parade, wanna-be rapper Brad Marchand performed “Wiz Khalifa’s Black and Yellow.”

Sean O’Donnell
2001-2004

Gordon Lightfoot’s “If You Could Read My Mind” climbed the charts in 1971, when Odie entered the world. Twenty years later, when the Buffalo Sabres drafted the defenseman, Maria Carey’s “Someday” ruled the airwaves. No way the Queen of the High Cs could have know her tune would be a smash hit or that O’Donnell’s quest to win the Cup would sixteen years later culminate with the Anaheim Ducks.

After signing with the Blackhawks, Odie (or should I say Oldie) is “Alive Again” in Chicago.

Mike Knuble
1999-2004

Born in 1972, Knuble grew up during the Age of Abba. Then in 1991, when Boyz II Men’s "Motownphilly" was all the rage in Cheesesteaktown, Knuble might not have predicted that “Mamma Mia” would be made into a musical, or that during the 2003 All-Star break, he’d tell his fans at Bruins.com that he planned to attend the show—because his wife is a big fan. (Sure Mike, admit it: Even a rough-and-tumble forward on the 700 pound line with Joe Thornton and Glen Murray, can dig the “Dancing Queen”.)

Will Washington be the “End of the Road” for the former Philadelphia Flyer? (Knubes turns 40 in 2012.)

Brian Rolston
1999-2004

The Allman Brothers’ “Ramblin’ Man” might be Brian Rolston’s theme song as the well-traveled forward was born in 1973. Then again, maybe Paul Abdul’s “Rush Rush” is a more appropriate theme song. Drafted in 1991, Rollie often led the charge up ice during his tenures with the New Jersey Devils (twice), the Colorado Avalanche, the Minnesota Wild, and the Boston Bruins. Here in Beantown, he thrilled fans with his specialties: speed, slap shots and short-handed goals (nine in 2001-02).

Rolston signed with the New York Islanders and will play an up-tempo game, blast a few slappers past would-be puck-stoppers, and maybe score a shortie or two.

Aaron Ward
2006-2009

I’m not sure if “Bad Bad Leroy Brown” is on Wardo’s playlist, but Jim Croce’s classic was among the top hits in 1971. Drafted in 1991, when Bryan Adams’s “Everything I Do (I Do it For You) ranked high on the charts, would Wardo have predicted that he’d still be playing eighteen years later? In his two seasons in Boston—before the B’s traded him back to Carolina to end his career—I enjoyed watching him stiff-arm puck-toting opponents, (broken?)-sticking it to Philadelphia with an OT game-winning goal.

Doozies, Don’ts, and Donuts

The 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver—and Canada itself—have owned the international spotlight, so I’ve been spying on our northerly neighbor and posting my observations—from Eh to Zed—about this Olympiad at Canadianspy.blogspot.com.

Back here in Boston, I haven’t lost sight of our Bruins. While many citizens of Bruins Nation were clamoring for Ilya Kovalchuk, I anointed myself to special advisor status and posted my plea for patience—don’t sell the farm—at Hockeybarn.com.

From the Olympics and the NHL to the AMHL …A stick salute to Mike “the Eagle” Chase. February 9th marked the one-year anniversary of our AMHL friend’s death. Mikey has surely graduated from our dimly-lit arena to the bright lights of heaven, where you can play hockey whenever you want and nobody nabs the last Boston Kreme.

Happy 60th birthday to Dunkin’ Donuts. To celebrate the accomplishment, Dunkin’ Donuts has resurrected its Donut Contest. Last year’s winning entry, “Coffee for Your Toffee”, will be succeeded by…well, maybe this is the year for the Sour Cream Sunrise. Rather thin pin my hopes to one donut entry, I’m diversifying my donut portfolio and will soon divulge the names of the half dozen doozies I’m developing. Deadline for throwing my donuts into the ring is March 8th, so stay tuned for details.

For those of you who’ve followed the Humpty Dumpty (Sports) Hernia saga, I have an update: Sports hernias don’t appear on MRIs. This I learned from Dr. Brian Busconi, a former Harvard hockey player and a pioneer in diagnosing and treating what he referred to as injuries more commonly found in “mature athletes” like me. Surgery (not yet sure if it will be a deep dive or laparoscopy) is in my near future, but I hope to return to AMHL ice this summer.

Meanwhile, our little donut league is going strong. “Mighty Mike” Edwards has returned from knee surgery, and his Leafs are 6–2. On Wednesdays, Port Huron’s pride and joy, Mike Seeley—who was last seen pushing pedals in Portugal—has returned to the AMHL; the nimble defenseman took a turn in nets and earned a shutout (or so it was recorded at AMHL.com, but Seeley says by e-mail, “Someone thumbed a key when entering stats...I ain't never been between da pipes.”

Not ready for nets to not ready for the AMHL…These bears are probably not ready for the AMHL, but you don’t want to miss this grizzly spectacle.

And now back to the Olympics… I tossed my first few stones. That’s right, I curled for the first time. It was online, of course, (Bostonians who want the real deal: Visit Broomstones.com) but I still got to use a broom. I started off strong, but in the end (I only played one), I lost 0–3.

Finally, I know some readers are wondering who I’m rooting for in today’s gold medal hockey game. I can’t tell you because I don’t know. Not yet. More on that later.

National Donut Day, Part II: Confusion, Conflict, and More Questions

My question from Part I, “What donut does it for you” sparked confusion and conflict, passion and pride.

AMHL goalie Steve Scansaroli at first misinterpreted the question as “What does the donut do to you?” to which Scans replied by e-mail, “The donut keeps me fat and thus covering more of the net.” Like any good goaltender, he quickly repositioned himself by responding that he’s a “Boston Kreme man.”

Scans’ good friend and fellow goalie, Kenny Tarr is an equal opportunist when it comes donut loyalty. Kenny replied, “Me…well, if it’s a donut - I love it :). But I definitely have a craving for anything sourdough... Kids love the butternuts I bring home after the AM games.”

Other donut fans were also open-minded, if not conflicted. Dana Salvo, who leads the AMHL in career points, also leads the league in longest donut discourse category. The first of his 139 words was, “I've gotta be honest... it really depends on the day.” His regular options at the rink, such Dunkin’ Donuts’ Chocolate Glazed, Chocolate Frosted, and Glazed Munchkins are all on Dana’s preferred donut list. Salvo also enjoys seasonal favorites like the Maple Frosted, and Manager’s Specials, like lemon-filled lip-smackers. But when he’s in the mood for the Glazed, he’s often disappointed. Salvo wrote, “It’s too bad that we don't get those at the rink very often, if at all. Very sad.”

Salvo was sad; Chris “Donut Boy” Howell was mad. He still pines for the defunct Dunkin’ donut—he is so passionate about the Old Fashioned with a nub—and wondered why the supplier of AMHL post-game fare ditched the namesake donut. He concluded his written commentary, “It would be as if KFC stopped serving fried chicken.”

Howell was not the only hockey (and donut) aficionado to be proud of his donut. Steve Nicolle (see comments below) and Michael Dyck, (“If a hockey player really knows hockey there is no substitute (for Tim Hortons’ Double Chocolate).”

Others provided short and sweet answers like “chocolate donuts are my favorite” or “Chocolate frosted with sprinkles - preferably lots and lots of sprinkles! :).”

Honorable Mention:

Jelly Filled: 2
Butternut (a.k.a. Butter Crunch): 2 adults (and Kenny’s kids)
Chocolate Frosted: 1

Dishonorable Mention:

Krispy Kreme: 1


But back to chocolate, which appears to be the fan favorite, because 53% included that ingredient as necessary for a divine donut experience.

The biggest winner of all—not in my unofficial survey but rather at Dunkin’ Donut headquarters—was a non-chocolate donut, the “Toffee for Your Coffee”. Jeff Hager’s creation, which is a sour cream cake donut topped with chopped Heath® Bar, won the “Create Dunkin’s Next Donut” contest.

This choice raises other questions. Will Kenny Tarr tolerate the toffee on his sourdough donut? And what do you think of the new donut? Please let me know this fall, when the donut will make its debut at your nearest Dunkin’ Donuts.

National Donut Day, Part I: Kreme of the Crop?

Happy National Donut Day!

In celebration of this delightful holiday—the origins of which may be tied to the Salvation Army—I’d like to know what donut does it for you. But before you do, here’s food for thought.

Regular readers know that my favorite donuts are the Chocolate Frosted (Dunkin’ Donuts) and the Walnut Crunch (Tim Hortons). And if you read my last piece, you know I’m lobbying the donut gods for a new donut: The Sour Cream Sunrise.

But of course this isn’t all about me. Below, I’ve listed a few of my favorite hockey players and their favorite donuts:

*Mike “the Eagle” Chase: Boston Kreme (Dunkin’ Donuts)
*Aaron Sherman: Butternut (DD)
*Hal Gill: Boston Kreme (DD)
*Mike Schneider: Blueberry (DD)
*Aaron Ward: Boston Kreme (DD)
*Peter Anastos: Pumpkin Spice (DD)
*Billy Whynot: Boston Kreme (DD)

You’ve spotted a trend or two, right? The Boston Kreme seems to be the odds-on favorite to win bragging rights, and Timmy Hortons (full disclosure: I’m not a Krispy Kreme fan) has not yet made the list.

Please post your thoughts below or send e-mail to jimfdwyer (at) gmail (dot) com. I may not mention your name or your Internet handle (unless maybe you add a funny anecdote), but I will compile the results and then post them here this weekend.

Until then, dear reader (and donut eater), bon appetite.