Meet Monika Moravan, Part II: A Hockey-hater, the NHL Lockout, and Hockey Movies

In Part I, I introduced you to the hockey writer, editor, and researcher who served as ghostwriter for CONCUSSED! Topics included the book, violence in hockey, and of course, donuts. I now present Part II:

The Non-hockey Husband

 

MM: Yes, my spousal unit hates hockey and is not a sports fan at all. Our son, however, is normal. He's a great kid, takes it all in stride and understands some activities are Mum things, some are Dad things, and some are family things. It used to bother him much more when he was younger but closing in on 14, not so much.

It’s funny because (my husband) remembers as a kid sitting on his grandmother’s lap: His grandmother loved hockey; she emigrated from Scotland. She loved the game, would watch it every single Saturday night. And I don’t know…he grew to hate it. I never understood why and neither does he. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t even go to our son’s hockey games, which is kind of funny. At first it was kind of annoying, but now…you do other stuff with your kids.

NHL Lockout

MM: In all honesty, I'm not sitting around lamenting the lockout. There is plenty of hockey to watch if we wish, and if not, it has freed up a significant amount of time to spend with family, friends or staring off into space thinking. It's liberating to have the option of dating my husband any night of the week!

JD: I’ve moved on. It’s like the boyfriend or girlfriend who left you and now wants you back. Not sure if I’ll be that interested in watching or going to games.

MM: Exactly. That’s what it is. If you see them on the street you’ll hopefully be polite about it… In my case I know when the NHL comes back, I’ll watch…There are the diehards, but most people are now starting to realize, ‘Okay instead of going to a game, we can spend our money to go out to the restaurant next to the rink.’ Go do that kind of stuff because there is a lot of empathy for those working the minimum wage jobs and all that. My niece, during last lockout, was a waitress in a restaurant right by Air Canada Centre. And (the lockout) really hurts those bottom lines more than anything else…

Hockey: Actors and Movies

JD: Matthew Perry.

MM: I wasn’t a big fan of Friends…I haven’t seen (GoOn).

JD: He’s a big Kings fan, and his character is a radio guy in Los Angeles…there’s one episode where he’s playing pickup shinny against Jeremy Roenick.

MM: Slap Shot was on last night, and I fell asleep.

JD: I haven’t watched that in years. I’m more of a 13 Going on 30 fan.

MM: I will always have my soft spot for Youngblood. Definitely not one of the best movies out there, but it features my baby in there (Peter Zezel, not Rob Lowe). It is a must watch.

Can/Am Relations

MM: Educating Americans about Canada is important to me. On a high school trip to Manhattan, we convinced a few that there was a housing crisis because rising temperatures were melting our igloos.

JD: You sound like a female version of Rick Mercer. I hope Canadians have stopped pummeling those poor moose with Timbits.

MM: A female Rick Mercer? Now my head's gonna asplode! Thanks; as a comedy student and (occasional) performer that is high praise indeed.

More about Can/Am relations at the Canadian Spy site.

2011 Top Twelve

Driving from Maynard to Acton to conduct a Christmas present delivery, I took inventory (assist to Michael Buble’s Christmas CD) of last year’s highlights.

1. Learning more about Montreal’s eclectic and authentic Msr. J.P. “Puckbite” Plouffe: His favourite donut, if he had to choose, is the Maple Glaze.

2. Anne Murray’s autobiography, All of Me: You may know her as the “Snowbird” singer, among many other musical successes, but she’s a real hockey hit, too. Ask her brothers and they’ll tell you she knows her way around the rink. And her memoir is sprinkled with references to hockey heroes such as Jean Béliveau, Gordie Howe, and Bobby Orr.

3. Dynamo Donut, San Francisco: En el corazón del Distrito de la Misión, the understated edifice belies the glory and organic goodness demonstrated within—the donut books decorate the back wall; the congenial and quirky staff entertain and engage; and the Apple Maple Bacon beckons.

4. Interviewing Alberta’s King and Queen of Hockey Calendars.

5. The Stanley Cup: Where were you when the Bruins won? I was at home, standing, as the final seconds evaporated…standing again on Tremont Street as the Cup paraded past…And I was on my feet in Boston’s North End, inside Regina Pizzeria when Andrew Ference lifted Lord Stanley’s cherished chalice.

6. Michael Bublé in Manchester, NH: Two nights after his Canucks lost to the Bruins, the humbled hockey fan from Burnaby, BC acknowledged the defeat and then delivered a dynamic performance that brought the crowd to its feet.

7. Score: A Hockey Musical: Bolstered by lyrical dialogue as clever as Crosby on a breakaway, a no-name kid with can’t-miss talent (and pacifist parents) sings and scores his way to personal victory. The cast includes Olivia Newton-John, Nelly Furtado, and Dave Bidini. “Give it a shot.”

8. Ottawa, ON: Bruins on Internet radio, the patina on Parliament Hill, and a new safe house operator and his special agent.

9. The unveiling of a new superhero: Captain CanAmerica.

10. Boston Bruins vs. Winnipeg Jets: Blake Wheeler and Mark Stuart return to the Garden, where the AMHL Photographer and I met a wicked cool family from Winnipeg.

11. Cape Cod: From Hole in One Donuts in North Eastham, to a donut photo shoot at Nauset Beach, to Hyannis, where I enjoyed the donut scene in The Muppets movie.

12. The AMHL: Championship coverage, and more importantly, the everlasting covenant of hockey camaraderie on an off the ice.

Happy New Year/Bonne année et bonne santé

Harry Potter Hockey: Would-be Weasleys

My "Top Twelve" Harry Potter protégés and would-be Weasleys...

Harry Potter: Sydney Crosby? Alex Ovechkin? Leading men, stars with scars they are, but they don’t wear glasses. A Hanson? Sorry Slap Shotters. My hero is the AMHL’s John Greszczuk, the unassuming one who wears glasses as he ferociously forechecks. Dark wizards, do not underestimate the Chosen One.

Ron Weasley: The redhead is best known as the Chosen One’s sidekick, but—Bloody H-E-double hockey sticks—he’s a formidable quaffle-stopper on the Quidditch pitch. Similarly, the AMHL’s Eric Schoen is best known as a goal-scorer (who earned ten points in one game) but he might someday become a brilliant Keeper.

Hermione Granger: The wonder wizard is in a class all by herself. So is Hayley Wickenheiser.

Hagrid: Big heart and tall as a tree, Hogwart’s groundskeeper is the perfect role for Kevin Durand, who played the kind giant, “Tree Lane” in Mystery Alaska.

Snape: Love him or loathe him? Don Cherry? Nope, Grapes is controversial but has too much flair and not enough hair. Let’s leave Defense against the Dark Arts to Mike Ricci (a defensive center in San Jose, Ricci also has acting experience, as Elmer Lach in The Rocket and wore a witch’s hat in an ESPN commercial).

Fred and George Weasley: I’m not sure if the Sedin brothers have a penchant for pranks, but Henrik and Daniel are tricky for defenders to track.

Viktor Krum: A physical specimen from Eastern Europe. Zdeno Chara as a Seeker, eh?

Dumbledore: Jean Béliveau, a revered and respectful leader.

Dobby: Loyal (and sometimes sneaky), Dobby does house-cleaning; “Peterborough Pete” Kokas would be the perfect house elf.

Alastor “Mad-Eye Moody”: Cantankerous. Real. Missed. Pat Burns, RIP.

And the villain? I shall not publicly malign “He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.”

Honourable Mention:

Sergei "the Magical Muscovite" Samsonov (thanks, Dupes)
Scott "the Manitoba Magician" Lauder
Merlin "the Magician" Malinowski

Tooth Fairy: Can You Handle the Tooth?

Derek Thompson’s (a.k.a. Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson) hockey career is all but flushed down the toilet—until the magic Tooth Fairy Nation transforms the tyrannical and hulking hockey player into Jordyn Tutu (no offense to the NHL’s Jordin Tootoo).

I’m well aware that this flick will flounder in theaters as critics tend to categorize Tooth Fairy as another hokie hockey movie.

Granted, it’s no Miracle or Mystery Alaska, but the six-year-old girl in me enjoyed it for what it is: a fanciful and fluffy retreat from dramatic films (and all the Bruins-bashing in the media). Full of predictable puns and a requisite happy ending, Tooth Fairy offers more than a much-maligned athlete wrestling with the notion of wearing wings and waving a wand.

Mr. Tutu’s struggle to redeem himself is intertwined with sweet-tooth subplots: an adolescent and aspiring rock star, Randy (Chase Ellison) and a wingless wingman and wannabe wand-waver, Tracy, (Stephen Merchant) confront their fears.

Sprinkle into the cinematic mix a pinch of black market magic from Ziggy (Seth McFarlane) and comic relief from Team Tooth Fairy Equipment Manager Jerry (Billy Crystal), and the obvious impossibilities (the skateboarding scene, for example) are easily excused.

And if more star power is what you want, then Ashley Judd (Derek’s girlfriend Carly) and Julie Andrews (Chief Fairy Officer) provide, if not exactly Oscar-esque performances, then ample assurance that Tooth Fairy can’t be as bad as the rotten ratings suggest.

Oh, and the venue in which you take in Tooth Fairy is paramount; my wife and I watched a matinee showing in the West Boylston Cinema, where admission didn’t cost us a few wisdom teeth (tooth be told: $3.50 per person). And I must admit that the hokiness was heightened by gaggles of giggling girls dispersed throughout the theater.

Yes, I can handle the tooth.

Loose Pucks: Pukka, Tuukka, and the Joys of Hockey (and Donuts)

A dozen recent observations:

Tired of the regular donut routine? Try the fresh apple cider donuts at Honey Pot Hill Orchard, where the AMHL Photographer and I stood in just the right place to savor these little beauties, their scent streaming out of the store/donut factory.

Last Sunday’s Boston Globe was fortified by irony: Vladimir Sobotka was the star not of the sports section but of Jan Freeman’s “The Word” in Ideas. In the Metro section was an ad for travel to places such as Quebec and Newfoundland. And below the “Here and there” heading in Globe West, Martin Pave mentions the Winnipeg Bombers of the Canadian Football League. (Also, not so much irony as happenstance: In the comics section, Darby Conley pokes fun at Canada.)

Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Day: Pukka is a first-class word. I like it because it reminds me of vulcanized rubber and rhymes Tuukka.

Tuukka Rask: Expect the youngster (looks like he’s about twelve years old, no?) to play twenty games this season. Timmy Thomas is still the man, though.

“Save by Thomas!” I’m glad Jack Edwards and Andy Brickley are back on the air, calling games for the Bruins, who last night beat the Hurricanes, 7–2.

Aaron Ward. I miss him. The former Bruin is not only a fierce competitor and supreme shot-blocker but also a goofball and a great interview. Pukka personified. Glad he got an assist on Scott Walker’s goal.

From NHL to AMHL, sort of. The Hurricanes, formerly the Hartford Whalers, are 0–2. The AMHL Whalers won their first game in their four-game history.

A free month of NHL Center Ice, which means Hockey Night in Canada is extended to Comcast viewers like me.

Don and Ron. Coach’s Corner. Bountiful banter. Cherry blasted the NHL Players Association for how it has handled the Paul Kelly situation and then cautioned youngsters to tape the tongues of their skates, lest they suffer an injury like Montreal’s Andrei Markov. Taping down the tongues: That’s what Bobby Orr and Phil Esposito did, and they never had their ankles sliced by another’s skate blade. MacLean wrapped up the segment by saying, “The moral of the story is that in the old days, Don had his tongue tied.”

From tongues to teeth. The next great hockey movie: Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson plays the part of a minor league hockey player who’s good at knocking out opponents’ teeth. And looks good in a tutu and wings. The Tooth Fairy will open in January 2010.

Living the donut dream. I hark back to Honey Pot Hill. Ah, the sweet cider-filled rings, sprinkled with cinnamon-sugar. And later in the week, I went back in time, to when my mom had left Hostess donuts, the little chocolate ones, in the refrigerator—not far from the orange juice. Make sure you refrigerate the little lovelies until the chocolate coating is crunchy. Then wash back a few with the citrus stuff. Then go read a hockey book.

Living the Hockey Dream: Brian Kennedy’s follow-up to Growing Up Hockey is fantastic. I’m only about halfway through it but have no problem recommending it now (full review coming soon). Kennedy has a rare flair for capturing, from unique angles, the joys of hockey.

Head Over Heels: Top (Half) Dozen Favourite Hockey (and Donut) Movies

A song I recently heard on my iPod triggered thoughts of hockey movies and their soundtracks, so I figured I’d list, not necessarily in order, my favorite hockey (and donut) movies.

Wayne’s World: Although neither hockey (nor donuts) is the central theme of this popular movie, it’s hard to ignore Stan Mikita or the ringed confections he sells in his shop. And “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “Ballroom Blitz?” Party on!

Miracle: The best pure hockey movie. 100% inspiration. For the underdog in all of us, “Dream On”!

Mystery, Alaska: Starring Russell Crowe and Burt Reynolds and with cameos by Barry Melrose and Mike Myers, why this film didn’t do better in the theatres is a…question to which I don’t have the answer. The soundtrack includes “The Star Spangled Banner” and “O Canada”. Fitting for a film featuring Alaska but filmed in Alberta.

Slap Shot: You had to know this one would be on the list. Besides the Hanson brothers and their toys and the puck hitting the radio announcer’s head, the soundtrack makes me want to sing “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing”.

Strange Brew: I know who Bob and Doug are, but I haven’t seen the whole movie. But if Chris “Donut Boy” Howell says this flick is his favorite hockey movie, then that’s good enough for me. The two hosers’ Web site even has an audio clip about donuts. Take off, eh?

13 Going on 30: Like Wayne’s World, this movie isn’t really about hockey (and there are no donuts, only Razzles). But the main character’s last name is Rink, and she dates a fictitious New York Ranger. How could you not fall “Head Over Heels” for this one?

Well, gotta Go-Go and get back to my iPod.

Celtic Pride

Kate fallon (goalie, pictured right): Will the lassie lead the Sharks to another championship?

In Celtic Pride (1996), Bostonians and best friends Mike O’Hara (Daniel Stern) and Jimmy Flaherty (Dan Aykroyd) are hockey fans (remember the scene where Jimmy is watching the Bruins on TV?). That’s right, hockey fans.

Sure, the movie was about the buddies’ obsession with the hometown team sporting the shamrock; but when Mike and Jimmy come down from the high triggered by the Celtics’ championship and ensuing celebrations, the two boyos will be ready to appear in Celtic Pride 2.

You see, Jimmy and Mike will become AMHL fans.

The two blue collar lads will love everyone’s favorite morning hockey (and donut) league because it’s rich with Celtic connections. From Tuesday to Thursday, AMHL rosters have been rooted in Irish heritage.

The Doyle brothers, Brendan and Jeremy, enjoy a cult-like following from Concord to County Cork. The two Flyers may well hoist the Koffey Cup again, as they did last season for the Leafs.

The Leafs will wallow in last place unless they can recruit a player with a surname such as Mahoney or Mahony. Peter Mahoney, who retired from the league several seasons ago, set a record for assists in a game, has not yet been contacted by Leafs management. Meanwhile, Bill Mahony, may be too busy chasing his kids around this summer to play hockey. Nonetheless, Billy’s agent is working the phones, trying to design an incentive-packed deal for his client.

The Blues’ Ryan O’Connor (not to be confused with the Barrie Colts’ sixth-round draft pick) leads all AMHL rookies in scoring. Teammate John Sweeney, in his second season, has already doubled his goal production from the last campaign.

“Penguin Pat” Obrien is making a comeback. The feisty Irishman scored three points in his first game in more than a year. His goalie, the unorthodox Brian Monahan, leads the league is poke checks and pucks deflected out of play. And Jeff Quinn, if his statistics are any indication of his potential, will continue to improve.

On Wednesday’s, Tim Donahue—last season’s MVP—has already lit the lamp nine times (and assisted on nine goals) for the Canadiens. Good luck trying to stop him.

Kate Fallon, who backstopped the Sharks to a championship last season, has a 2.66 GAA for the Teal Tiburones. Bobby Kilkenny can play nets if needed, but Stow’s (MA) favorite celebrity is blossoming into a point-producing prodigy. The CPA-by-day has been putting up big numbers this season.

Kevin Lyons, an unheralded Sabre defenseman, is best at putting out fires—in and around Acton and in the creases at Valley Sports Arenas.

On Thursdays, Paul Connors, the ever-steady and heady blue liner, has commanded the Caps to 5–0–1–0 record.

Mike Kennedy, City Sport’s CEO and de facto Avalanche captain, will make a new name for the Kennedy clan. “K” was out of commission last season with a tennis-related injury; but in his first game back, the venerable defenseman scored a highlight-reel goal (against his own goalie). Other than that blunder, Kennedy has returned to form: no goals, one assist, but lots of no-panic play, effective passing, and legendary leadership.

The Bruins, like the Leafs on Wednesday, are winless and hoping AMHL management will trade an AMHLer with obvious Irish ancestry to the hapless clubs.

And let’s not forget the Panthers. With the versatile and quick-witted Kevin “Hungry Hill” Reilly, time-tested Tommy Barrett, and yours truly, we’re a good bet to win the championship.

We’ll make fast friends with Mike O’Hara and Jimmy Flaherty, too.

Special Report: Energy on Ice

December 2, 2007

Raymond Bourque, Valeri Kamensky, and Igor Larionov: these names are engraved on the Stanley Cup that greets hockey fans here at The Edge Sports Center in Bedford, Massachusetts.

The talented triumvirate and a host of other prominent players are here tonight at the brand new arena to raise awareness for Hockey Fights Cancer, USA Hockey, Toys for Tots, and Colonel Daniel Marr Boys & Girls Foundation. The contingent of North American and Russian players is here to foster friendship and bolster business relationships, too. And they’re here because they still love to play hard; they still crave competition, especially when a Cup is on the line. Not that cherished chalice in the lobby but rather the AspenTech Cup.

Never heard of it? A little background while the standing-room-only crowd watches the Zamboni work its magic and the players put on their game faces.

Bourque will wear green and gold for Aspen Technology, a company that helps process manufacturers transform the way they design and run their operations. His teammates include former Bruins Don Sweeney, Ted Crowley and Marty McInnis; joining them are Bob Sweeney and Scott Young, who both once called Valley Sports Arena in nearby Concord their home ice. Also eager to play for the AspenTech All-Stars are Harvard’s Hobey Baker winners: Lane MacDonald and the Fusco brothers, Mark (now CEO at Aspen Technology) and Scott (now General Manager of The Edge Sports Arena) are hoping to do Harvard—and North America—proud.

Kamensky will sport a blue sweater with and edgy design for Gazprom Export, the world’s leading exporter of natural gas. His comrades include Sergei Starikov, Ravil Yakubov, and Maxim Mikhaylovskiy. All played in the NHL and/or in the minors as well as in their native Russia. Add to mix former Spartak players, such as head coach and defenseman Sergey Makarov and right wing Evgeny Chizhmin, who averaged just shy of a point per game last season with Team Gazprom.

And Larionov?

Team AspenTech acquired his rights when the stalwart center, born forty-seven years ago tomorrow, decided to work for Aspen Technology.

How does it feel to play for the Green and Gold?

“Feels good, actually,” Larionov says, smiling as he exits the locker room for the pre-game skate.

“At least give us someone who can pass,” jokes a new teammate.

Larionov, who won three Stanley Cups with the Detroit Red Wings and posted 475 career assists, is an adroit passer. But he’s not amused as the first period closes. The scoreboard shows :46.7 when Kamensky scores on former Rensselear Polytechnic Institute goalie Bobby Farrelly. (Yep, flick fans, the director of Dumb and Dumber, Fever Pitch, and The Heartbreak Kid is no ringer, but he’s no slouch either.) Kamensky’s wrist shot from the far circle is the only one to beat Number 00, and it prompts the sound system’s operator to play the Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out.”

Farrelly’s counterpart, Mikhaylovskiy, meanwhile, has closed the door on would-be scorers.

Referee Paul Stewart assesses the first period, “You can see the level of play, even with some rust. It’s important for kids to see how good these guys are…the prime thing is that they can all skate, shoot quick…the puck never gets tired.”

When Chizhmin scores on a two-on-one two minutes into the second period, Gazprom lengthens the lead to 2–0.

More music, this time a classical piece by John Williams.

“Hey, Star Wars!” a kid recognizes the score from a movie first released three decades ago.

AspenTech continues to battle, scoring at 6:59 to cut the deficit, but Igor Romashin counters for Gazprom. Bobby Carpenter scores on a wrist shot from the point but then Chizhimin scores on a penalty shot with less than two minutes remaining in the second period to stake Gazprom to a 4–2 lead.

“(Those) boys can move,” comments one fan to another between periods.

The third period provides the crowd more fervent action. Gazprom’s empty-net goal secures a 5–3 victory but also may bolster the AspenTech All-Stars’ commitment to practice more often; chances are they’ll face Team Gazprom here again next year.

“We hope that this will be an annual event,” Scott Fusco comments via e-mail. He adds, “I think Gazprom won because they play together three times per week and have an extensive game schedule together whereas we play probably once per week in separate pickup situations. This makes it tough to finish as we should.”

Even so, you can bet your last dollar (or ruble) on this: The next time they play, Bourque, Kamensky, Larionov, and company will provide fans lots of energy on ice.

AMHL Tuesday: Mystery Boys

“But I'm telling you, some pretty good goals. I'm loving these kids. I want to adopt them. How's that? I want to clean them up and raise them as my own.”

-Donnie Shulzhoffer (Mike Myers) from Mystery, Alaska

If you’ve read the AMHL.com Tuesday Ticker, you’re no doubt familiar with superstars like Dana “Mr. Points” Salvo, Brendan Doyle, and Mike Evans (and other regular point-getters who won’t like it that that they didn’t make it on my short list).

Forget them for now. This entry is all about the little guys who don’t normally make the headlines.

Bobby Kilkenny: Flyers, Rink One

Bobby Kilkenny lists his weight at 160 pounds. The corporate CPA by day is known for his Tuesday morning sponsorship of the US Post Office (he wraps tape normally reserved for Priority Mail around his hockey socks) and his willingness to play goalie when needed. Although he has averaged about sixteen points a season, Bob Kilkenny is not synonymous with Art Ross. This Tuesday morning, Kilkenny earned three points as his Flyers dumped the Blues. On his first assist, he picked up the puck just inside the offensive blue line and skated down the middle to force a defender to cover him.

“I really wanted to be selfish and just shoot it, thought better of it since one of their D was right in front of me,” Bobby would explain on Wednesday. “It was just a little flip under the stick that happened to land flat.” Right onto the stick of Jim Cullen, who promptly plopped the puck past the Blues’ goalie.

Kilkenny assisted on another goal and scored one himself. “I flipped a pass out in front to no one that bounced off of Jesse Floyd and ended up in the net. Just like I planned it.”

Bill VanderClock: Penguins, Rink Two

While Kilkenny was making a name for himself on Rink One, “Bahrain Bill” VanderClock was enjoying his stop at an oasis, lush with offense, on Rink Two. In the midst of more than a year-long scoring drought (last goal was in the Spring 2006 season), VanderClock tallied two assists and one goal.

“The puck appeared on the ice in front of me,” said VanderClock on Wednesday, “and there was this open spot between the pads that all worked together (with a little help from a teammate) to put the puck in (too bad we don’t “light the light” in the AMHL).”

Bill, who had suited up last week but didn’t play because a skate blade broke on his way from the locker room to the ice, also gave credit to his skate doctor. “Rob at Tricon Sports treats me very well and worked some magic on those new blades…”

And his Penguins won, so that makes this memory even sweeter for Bill.

Mark Elder, Maple Leafs, Rink Two

Mark Elder, was a little bitter about the loss to VanderClock’s Penguins—the Leafs disputed at least one Penguins’ goal—but happy with his second goal of the year.

Elder scored after John Greszczuk retrieved his own rebound and then slid the puck across the crease to Mark, who hoped the AMHL photographer might have captured the event (she didn’t). As Elder would say the next day, “I don’t remember how it happened. I think I blacked out.”

Why did it take him so long to score his second goal? “First of all, it is very difficult to score goals when you are a perennial checking line winger. Second, it is difficult to score goals when you occasionally play on a line with Dana (Salvo) and Mike Evans. However, playing with those two guys has accounted for my over the top spike in assists (once in a while a puck will hit me on the way out of our zone and I get credit for the assist).”

Mark has ten helpers this season, a career high!

Kilkenny, VanderClock, Elder: These underdog mutts probably won’t, collectively, catch up to the big dogs in terms of raw numbers. But, Donnie Shulzhoffer would love these Mystery Boys, eh?