The venerable Koffey Cup (KC) has been stolen, or mayhap last
season’s champions have forgotten to return the hardware to Valley Sports
Arena, where this week’s championship games have commenced. Where is KC? An
inquiry to AMHL Commissioner Mitchell Weiss is in order.
Until we determine KC’s whereabouts, we celebrate another
stellar season of morning hockey. I present then, to AMHL fans worldwide, the top
twelve quotes (what the hey, I’ll make it a baker’s dozen) from last week’s
action.
Tuesday
May 1, 2012
Leafs vs. Penguins
1. “Penalty shot!” The Leafs beg referee
Matt Bielak to call foul play against the Leafs Kevin McDonald for whacking and
hacking at Penguin Rob Mirak as the latter skated toward goalie Leafs goalie Tyler
Boudreau. Bielak, his mind already made up, raises his arms, his
wrists connected and hands forming a V: penalty shot.
Mirak skates straight toward
Boudreau, dekes left to his forehand and then shuffles right. Boudreau thrusts
his left leg to meet the puck. No
goal.
2.
“I don’t give
those away like candy, my friend,” Bielak says as play is about to resume. “You have to earn them.”
3. “You got your Marco Sturm moment,” the
AMHL Photographer says to this reporter.
She’s referring to the ex-Boston
Bruin’s OT game-winner
against the Flyers, his subsequent power leap at the Plexiglas at the 2010
Winter Classic and Kevin MacDonald, who has just celebrated the Leafs’ 5–2
victory by raising both arms and launching himself at the Plexiglas near center
ice.
4. “You gotta against these guys...Dennis
Seidenberg is my hero.” -Leaf defenseman Bill Chioffi, on why he resisted
temptations to join the offensive rush and stay at home.
5. “I know what I’m gonna where to work today.”
-Chris “Donut
Boy” Howell on the AMHL T-shirts awarded to the victors.
Wednesday
May 2, 2012
Sabres vs. Canadiens
6. “No media in the locker room,” says
Stephen “Whoa Nelli” Antonelli as he leads the victorious (3–0) Sabres into the
room.
7. KC:
(think: Lenny
Clarke) “It’s all good fellahs. Mitch
is finally coughin’ up the dough to replace that broken crown uh mine. I know I’m
not in the team pic-shah, but my
career ain’t ovah ‘til I say it’s ovah. Not sure when I’ll be back. I cont make
it tuh-day. But Denis Leary is taking care of me…so no need to rescue me.”
Thursday
May 3, 2012
Panthers vs. Bruins
8. KC:
“Ah you for real? Boys, yah killin’ me,”
he says after learning that, in the team
photo, he has been replaced by a pylon topped with Kenny “KISS Fan” Tarr’s
mask.
9. “I just had to be average,” says Kenny
“KISS Fan” Tarr after his Panthers beat the Bruins, 4–2. He gave all the credit
to his teammates, like Peter “Focused” Kokas, who scored a backhand goal from
the non-Euclidian corner.
10. “I’m going to boycott my nose,” this
reporter says as Chris Howell, his pickup truck’s radio tuned to NPR and a
story about striking workers, drives through Maynard. “What?” Howell asks? “I’m
going to picket” I say. “That’s bad.”
Friday
May 4, 2012
Stars vs. Kings
11. “It’s back,” The AMHL Photographer says.
KC, gleaming in refurbished
glory—his new coffee cup emblazoned with the Stars and Stripes and the Maple
Leaf—waits for the champions to carry him into the locker room.
12. “Anyone need a double extra large besides me?”
asks the slender Gerry Evans, the Stars’ stand-up comedian.
13. KC: “Me and Mahshall McLean—you
know he scahhed fotty-two goals for the Stahs this season—ah gonna go to New
Hampshuh. He’s gonna take me to the top uh Mt.
Cahdigan. Can you believe it? Me and Mahshall!
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