Thursday, April 24, 2008

Donuts Be Your Guide

I resisted the temptation to eat a donut last Thursday morning. Former Director of Donut Procurement Chris Howell, who drove me home after the game, told me to give in to the donuts.

“Let the donuts by your guide,” the AMHL’s version of Jiminy Cricket, said. So ever since, I’ve been wondering—and I can’t explain why—what non-fictional characters might have said if they had been more cognizant about the ultimate parenthetical food group that energizes this blog. Now some of these quotes cannot be confirmed, despite my diligent efforts at Internet research, but I present you with them anyway.

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. (And bring me donuts while you’re at it.)”
Abraham Lincoln

“A table, a chair, a (donut), and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?”
Albert Einstein

“…Give me liberty or give me (donuts).”
Patrick Henry

“A man's interest in a single (blueberry donut) is worth more than a complete but dry list of the fauna and flora of a town.”
Henry David Thoreau

“I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French toast (and a French cruller) during the Renaissance.”
Steven Wright

“Peace begins with a smile (and a donut).”
Mother Teresa

“…I shall return (with donuts).”
Douglas MacArthur

I shall return…next week, with stories about the AMHL play-offs.
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