Thursday, December 21, 2006

AMHL Tuesday Championship: Tennessee Tuxedo

Penguins are all the rage these days. However, long before Mumble the Penguin tapped his way to fame in Happy Feet or March of the Penguins won an Academy Award, another famous penguin made his mark on North American culture.

Mario Lemieux? Okay, he was pretty good, but that’s not whom I had in mind.

Tennessee Tuxedo debuted in 1963, long before AMHL Penguins from the past and present—from “Penguin Pat” Obrien to Andrew “Zach” Zacharakis—ever dreamt about holding high the Koffey Cup.

You remember Tennessee, right? The wise-cracking Tennessee would escape Stanley Livingston’s zoo, only to encounter trouble of one sort or another. But, with the help of Mr. Whoopee and his three dimensional blackboard (3D BB), our penguin friend would not only learn about basic scientific principles but also redeem himself—or at least make it back to the zoo safely.

This past Tuesday, the Penguins were in trouble against the Blues. With the score tied at one in Overtime, Blues’ forward Brendan “Crash” Doyle, sped down along the near boards, en route to yet another encounter with Penguin goalie Claude Corbeil.

Zach was having none of that; he squeezed the dangerous Doyle into the boards, rubbing him out of the play.

In the penalty box, Mr. Whoopee made a surprise visit to Zach. Eyes popping—almost through his goggles—Zach watched the wise one with the balding pate diagram a play on the 3D BB. Mr. Whoopee assured the penalized Penguin that if Zach stuck to the diagramed plan, the Penguins would win the Cup.

“Phineas J. Whoopee, you’re the greatest!”

Zach exited the sin bin a new man. Mr. Whoopee’s plan reverberating in his head, Zach retrieved the puck from behind his goal and then proceeded to weave around would-be defenders and toward goalie Kenny “Kiss Fan” Tarr. Kenny, unaware of Zach’s plan, stopped the Goggled One’s shot—but coughed up a rebound. Zach pounced on it and poked it past the goal line.

“Tennessee Tuxedo will not fail!”

The Three Stars, sponsored by

3. James Antonangeli: netted the Blues’ first goal
2. Mike Evans: two assists, won regular season honors for most points
1. Zach Zacharakis: redemption, baby.

Honorable mention:

-Don Adams: Rest in peace

-Chumley: Tennessee’s walrus friend and accomplice

-The Penguin: Next time I write about a Penguin victory, I’ll reference the tuxedo-wearing villain in Batman Returns.

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