Sunday, September 11, 2011

AMHL Thursday Champioship: Breaking News

Thursday, August 25 2011
Concord, MA

We interrupt your regularly-scheduled coverage of (insert your East Coast natural disaster here) for this important hockey news:

While some Eastern U.S. residents perform minor clean-up after this week’s earthquake, and New Englanders prepare for a tropical storm, the AMHL Panthers and Avalanche are engaged in a scoreless tie in the championship game.

Anthony Bonfiglio, who led all Thursday AMHL goalies this season in GAA, and Dan Barros, no stranger to Koffey Cup victories, have endured surge after surge of would-be scorers. Stay tuned for updates as we return you to Barry Burbank and the meteorological maps.

The latest spaghetti diagrams indicate the most likely path—hold on, Barry, this just in:

Broadcaster turned blueliner, Ken MacLeod’s shot. From the right point, MacLeod, an award-winning journalist last seen sporting a salmon-colored tie and sitting behind a news desk, now anchors the Panther blueline corps. He has blasted a slapper past Barros. 1–0 Panthers with less than two minutes remaining in the second period. We return you to your local weather-related news coverage.

The eye of the hurricane is approaching—Sorry, Barry. More breaking news from the rink:

MacLeod has done it again. With less than a minute remaining in the second stanza, Kenny, who grew up cheering for Bobby Orr and the Bruins, charged up the right side, charmed his way into the Avalanche zone, skated left through the slot and snapped a low shot to Barros’s left. 2–0 Panthers after two periods.

And now a word from our sponsor: Advertising agency Arnold Worldwide has landed the Boston Bruins account. And marketing maven and Panther forward Paul “Whoa Nellie” Nelson can bear-ly contain his excitement.

And we’re back to the game: In the waning minutes of the third period, Nellie backhands the puck into an empty net. “Good night, Irene,” the early-morning crowd whispers to each other as they anticipate the Panthers victory and the impending Koffey Cup celebration.

The Three Stars, as voted by the media

3. Dan “Gale Force” Barros: Superb goaltending despite the loss
2. Anthony “the Eyewall” Bonfiglio: Splendid season capped with a shutout
1. Ken MacLeod: Award-winning goals (and ties)

Honorable mention:

The Bruins Bear
Weather-tracking technology
Vermont Tourism
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