Sunday, November 21, 2010

Harry Potter Hockey: Would-be Weasleys

My "Top Twelve" Harry Potter protégés and would-be Weasleys...

Harry Potter: Sydney Crosby? Alex Ovechkin? Leading men, stars with scars they are, but they don’t wear glasses. A Hanson? Sorry Slap Shotters. My hero is the AMHL’s John Greszczuk, the unassuming one who wears glasses as he ferociously forechecks. Dark wizards, do not underestimate the Chosen One.

Ron Weasley: The redhead is best known as the Chosen One’s sidekick, but—Bloody H-E-double hockey sticks—he’s a formidable quaffle-stopper on the Quidditch pitch. Similarly, the AMHL’s Eric Schoen is best known as a goal-scorer (who earned ten points in one game) but he might someday become a brilliant Keeper.

Hermione Granger: The wonder wizard is in a class all by herself. So is Hayley Wickenheiser.

Hagrid: Big heart and tall as a tree, Hogwart’s groundskeeper is the perfect role for Kevin Durand, who played the kind giant, “Tree Lane” in Mystery Alaska.

Snape: Love him or loathe him? Don Cherry? Nope, Grapes is controversial but has too much flair and not enough hair. Let’s leave Defense against the Dark Arts to Mike Ricci (a defensive center in San Jose, Ricci also has acting experience, as Elmer Lach in The Rocket and wore a witch’s hat in an ESPN commercial).

Fred and George Weasley: I’m not sure if the Sedin brothers have a penchant for pranks, but Henrik and Daniel are tricky for defenders to track.

Viktor Krum: A physical specimen from Eastern Europe. Zdeno Chara as a Seeker, eh?

Dumbledore: Jean Béliveau, a revered and respectful leader.

Dobby: Loyal (and sometimes sneaky), Dobby does house-cleaning; “Peterborough Pete” Kokas would be the perfect house elf.

Alastor “Mad-Eye Moody”: Cantankerous. Real. Missed. Pat Burns, RIP.

And the villain? I shall not publicly malign “He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.”

Honourable Mention:

Sergei "the Magical Muscovite" Samsonov (thanks, Dupes)
Scott "the Manitoba Magician" Lauder
Merlin "the Magician" Malinowski
Post a Comment