Sunday, January 24, 2010

Donuts on the Dashboard, Part II

The Golden Globes last weekend, and the SAG awards last night. What a boon, a cradle in which to carry the second installment of this short film.

(Cont’d from
Part I)

Scene III, Act II: The Beach

The Photographer carried the Plain donut I suggested, and the Coconut she had selected, toward the Atlantic Ocean. She then scouted a place upon which the sweet spherical objects of our affection would perform their well-rehearsed roles.

My job on this low budget set was security, so I scanned the unencumbered skies for seagulls. The proverbial coast was clear as the Photographer positioned the donuts in the sand. But then a herring gull, its gray and white wings extended upon the sea breeze, swooped onto the scene.

Donuts in peril.

The villain, lowering its menacing landing gear, approached the restricted zone. I flailed my arms to deter the donut-seeking seabird. The solo stalker veered away. (Like Boston Bruin Timmy Thomas’s puck-stopping performances, my security tactics are unorthodox, but effective.)

Other gulls, however, were now aware of the battle for breakfast. I remained committed to the cause, though. Sidestepping to my right, and then to my left—waving my arms all the while—I denied the airborne attackers. They were no match for this defenseman; the disillusioned donut hunters dispersed, resigned to cull the shore for favorable flotsam.

The Photographer, who was able to focus on the job at hand, completed her duties. She then picked up the dirty donuts (their surfaces sullied for art’s sake) and followed me to the car.

Flash forward to the present: The leading donuts are on the dashboard, and my wife has regained her breath.

“It was kind of Hitchcocky out there,” she says.

Yet it’s no mystery that the donuts on the dashboard, which gave such sweet and glorious performances, no longer serve a purpose. They will die a less-than-glamorous death upon arriving home.

But they will not be forgotten. Nay.

Hockey (and donut) gods willing, you’ll see them again on next year’s awards shows (hello, David E. Kelly?). Okay maybe not there. More likely, you’ll see them on a prize puck or in next year’s donut calendar, both of which the Photographer produces.
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